The Cost to Carry

As our lives have already changed so much over the past 8 months since we found out we were expecting, ‘carrying’ is something that has been on my mind. We couldn’t have been happier to find out that we were expecting, then to find out we were expecting twins and then the great news of having a girl and a boy.  It couldn’t really be more perfect. Having been married over 9 years we weren’t entirely sure we would ever be parents naturally, we have kids we love all over the world but naturally we just weren’t sure it would happen. So having received our miracle we had to get things ready and over the last 8/9 months our lives have already greatly changed. Immediately my plans to travel to Zimbabwe, South Africa and Ghana during 2016 had to be cancelled. In our home the room we had been preparing as a guest room for our friends and visiting ministers had to be rethought as now we were expecting two babies the small room would no longer be suitable as a nursery. Our focus changed and rather than looking for flights, planning itineraries, studios and other such things we began looking for pushchairs, cots, car seats etc. I went from designing websites, banners and flyers to designing animal pictures and nursery wall art. From spending hours and days travelling, preaching almost every weekend in a different city and laying hands on hundreds of people to suddenly needing to rest a lot. The thing is when you are carrying something it changes you. I’ve heard it said ‘growing tiny humans is so tiring’ and wow is it true! Carrying our babies has not only changed my focus but also the way I eat, sit, sleep, walk and certainly look. I often think of Mary and how carrying, not only a baby, but Jesus, The King & Saviour changed her and cost her. 


This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Matthew 1:18


She chose to accept the mandate of carrying Jesus despite the ridicule, the gossips, even at the chance of losing her future husband. She carried the Saviour of the world in very difficult circumstances. This whole season has made me really meditate on the fact that it really does cost to carry. And for us to carry Jesus in our daily lives and into our communities and the dark places it will cost us. Just like pregnancy it will stretch us, cause us to change our habits, to change the best made plans, change our shape and change our lives. Recently Rich and I made some plans, they were good plans that would have brought some fruit, everything was set in place and ready to go. We woke up one particular day and as usual we gave our day to God but as the day developed our plans were no longer relevant as God revealed His plan, which was completely different to ours. We had to change everything and because of this we have to continue changing things in our lives and making way for what God said. It hasn’t been easy, it’s meant doing things I haven’t necessarily wanted to do to begin with but already we can see this will produce more fruit and though it’s costing us it’s going to be worth it. We could have done the good but God wants us to do and be part of the best. The cost of carrying means it must be His way, His plans and His timing.


Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.


The beauty of this whole season of cost we have in pregnancy is we get an incredible reward at the end of it, our amazing children. It’s much the same with the cost of carrying Jesus, the reward of seeing Him cause life to happen, be released into the areas we carry Him and allowing Him to stretch us, far outweigh anything it may have cost us. So be encouraged ‘the cost to carry’ is more than worth it. When the pain of being stretched, ridiculed or misunderstood seems too much, focus on the great reward and incredible gift of life being birthed.

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